The Joy of Spam Folder Cooking

Month: October 2017

English Rocks

This week my spam folder brought me cookies.  I love cookies!  Cookies of all kind are awesome.  The cookies my spam folder delivered are called English Rocks.  English Rocks?  What kind of name is that for a cookie?  That makes me think of the Cliffs of Dover, which isn’t exactly an appetizing cookie thought.

But in the interests of science and this blog, I gave it a shot.

English Rocks

  • One and one-half cups of brown sugar
  • Two-thirds cup of shortening
  • Two eggs
  • One teaspoon of soda, dissolved in four tablespoons of water
  • Two teaspoonfuls of cinnamon
  • One teaspoonful of nutmeg
  • Two and one-half cups of flour
  • One and one-half cups of finely chopped nuts
  • One and one-half cups of finely chopped raisins

Put all ingredients in a mixing bowl. Mix thoroughly and drop by a teaspoon on a well-greased and floured baking sheet and bake for twelve minutes in a moderate oven.

Normally it’s ‘cream this, wait, add this’ but this time, throw it all in a bowl.  Easy enough to do!  This is what the batter looks like:


English Rocks Batter

English Rocks Batter

Looks almost like chocolate chip cookie dough, doesn’t it?  Except those dark spots are raisins and not chocolate chips.

Using my handy dandy cookie scooper (Fred gave it to me.  I think he just wants more cookies) I scooped out the dough.

English Rocks Ready to Bake

English Rocks Ready to Bake

This cookie dough made a lot of cookies! I got one short of 7 dozen cookies out of it.  They even looked pretty.

English Rocks

English Rocks

Fred said they tasted kind of like oatmeal cookies without the oatmeal.  He must have liked them, he ate six at one sitting and took the rest into the office.  I think he shared them with his co-workers, at least, that’s what he said he did.

Until next time, toodles!

Rhubarb Puffs

This week the spam folder brought me Rhubarb Puffs, and in a fit of ‘why not?’ I decided I was going to make them.  I’d never cooked anything like this before, so… why not?  This blog is partly to get me to make new things, so… why not?

Until I went to the grocery store and found no rhubarb.  I don’t know if I was just looking in the wrong spot, or if they were out, but Wikipedia says it’s in season in early June, and this isn’t early June.  Well, maybe next year I’ll be able to try the recipe.

Rhubarb Puffs

  • Three-quarters cup of sugar,
  • One-half cup of water,
  • Five tablespoons of shortening.
  • One egg,
  • Two cups of flour,
  • Four teaspoons of baking powder,
  • One-half teaspoon of salt,
  • One cup of finely chopped rhubarb (raw).

Put the first three ingredients in a bowl then add the rest.

Beat to mix and then fill into well-greased custard cups and bake for thirty minutes in a hot oven.

I went back to my spam folder and found the subject line associated with this recipe.  It says ‘These 4 Things Happen Right Before A Heart Attack’.  I’d assume eating this recipe isn’t one of them, right?  I found another message with the same recipe and its subject was ‘ Want To Get Out Of The Friend Zone?’.  Interesting combination.  Get out of the Friend Zone then have a Heart Attack and eat Rhubarb Puffs at the same time!

Ok, so that was a little silly.  I’m peeved because I couldn’t make the recipe.  Until next time, toodles!

Consomme (I think)

So this week the spam folder brought me part of a recipe.  Not the whole thing, but just the ingredients.  It’s Consomme (I think).  I always thought of this as chicken broth but apparently according to Martha Stewart it isn’t.  Consomme is actually it’s own dish and usually served at the beginning of a meal (Thank you Martha!).  I didn’t know that and now I do.

Now this is what I found in my spam folder:


  • 4 lb. lower round of beef
  • 4 lb. shin of veal
  • 1/4 c. butter
  • 8 qt. cold water
  • 1 small carrot
  • 1 large onion
  • 2 stalks celery
  • 12 peppercorns
  • 5 cloves
  • 4 sprigs parsley
  • Pinch summer savory
  • Pinch thyme
  • 2 bay leaves
  • Salt
  • Pepper

Not a single instruction!  Just ‘here’s your ingredients, have fun’.  Well, that won’t work, at least for me.  I’m not that good of a cook to figure out what to do with the ingredients and I wasn’t even sure what Consomme was until I wrote this post.

I found part of this recipe here but my recipe has more ingredients, so that’s not it.   I did find the entire recipe in “Soup Recipes – The Ultimate Collection’ but I couldn’t find a print version of that book anywhere.  According to Google, there isn’t an ebook version of it either.  I have to wonder where the spammers found it, or if they once again typed in one of their favorite recipes.  You’d think if they were typing it in, they’d include the instructions, right?  Not just ‘here’s some ingredients, do something’.

Until next time, toodles!

English Bread Pudding

According to Fred, the only pudding worth eating is chocolate pudding, with occasional lapses into eating banana pudding and vanilla pudding.  For the most part, he’ll eat chocolate pudding or no pudding.  (My momma’s banana pudding is good enough to make him fall off that wagon.)    Anyway, the point of all that is that when the spam folder brought me English Bread Pudding this week, I just knew he’d turn it down.

Especially when I told him that you bake this pudding.   He went on a silly rant about how pudding is refrigerated, not baked.

Anyway, the recipe!

English Bread Pudding

Grease small cups and fill 2/3 full with bread crumbs and a little chopped candied fruit; beat 2 eggs without separating and 2 tablespoonfuls of sugar and 1½ cups of milk. Pour this carefully over the crumbs and stand the cups in a pan of boiling water and bake in a moderate oven 15 minutes.[Pg 37] Turn out and serve with a vanilla or wine sauce.

I copied and pasted this one directly from the spam because I wasn’t sure how you’d turn it into a recipe.  First of all, how big of a cup is a small cup?  Is it mini muffins or regular sized muffins or something complete different?  I have no idea and this recipe is not helping.  It affects how much bread crumbs I’d need as well.

Plus, I guess with the chopped candied fruit it’s whatever fruit you like.  I can deal with that.  One of these days I’m going to find candied peaches and give them a try in something.  Right now, all I find are dried peaches and peach tea.

Anyway, back to the recipe.  All I know is that I use a small cup with some amount of bread crumbs and put everything else in it.  I think the size of the cup absolutely affects the outcome and I do wish the spammers and told me what size to use, but I guess I can’t have everything.

On the other hand, I guess I can’t blame the spammers.  It is from the 365 Luncheon Dishes cookbook and I can blame the cookbook authors for that as well.  Next time, guys, tell me what size to use!

Until later, toodles!

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