The Joy of Spam Folder Cooking

Category: Uncategorized (page 1 of 2)

Household Stock

This week  my spam folder brought me a recipe for Household Stock.  I don’t know about you, but I buy my stock at the grocery store in the soup aisle.  I don’t make it.  My mother used to, but then she was a stay at home mom who could leave a pot simmering on the stove for 4-6 hours and keep half an eye (sometimes quarter of an eye, depending on my brothers) on it.  I’m rarely at home that long and when I am, I don’t want to watch my stove for that long.  It was bad enough making the Sally Lunn!

Anyway, enough about that  The recipe!

Household Stock

  • 3 qt. cold water
  • 3 lb. meat (trimmings of fresh meat, bones, and tough pieces from roasts, steaks, etc.)
  • 1 medium-sized onion
  • 4 cloves
  • 6 peppercorns
  • Herbs
  • Salt
  • Pepper

Pour the cold water over the meat and bones and put them on the fire to cook.

When they come to a boil skim well.

Then cover and simmer 4 to 6 hours.

Add the onion, cloves, peppercorns, and herbs and cook for another hour.

Add salt and pepper to taste.

Strain and set aside to cool.

Remove the fat.

My other problem with the recipe, it assumes I have 3 pounds of meat just sitting around not used.  With only me and Fred in the house, that just isn’t the case.  I buy just enough to feed us, usually with left overs for lunch the next day.  My mother bought a half a cow to feed us, but then, I had three brothers and they could eat enough between them that that was necessary.  Fred and I don’t eat that much.

I also don’t like that the recipe doesn’t tell me what it means by ‘herbs’.  That could be anything!  I’m not that good of a cook, I need a decent recipe to follow.  A recipe shouldn’t say just ‘herbs’ it should tell me which ones.   It also says to put it on the fire.  I have a gas stove, but you still need to tell me how much fire!

I did find the recipe here along with some more information:

. Household Stock. — If it is desired to make a stock that 
may be kept on hand constantly and that may be used as a founda- 
tion for various kinds of soups, sauces, and gravies, or as a broth 
for making casserole dishes, household stock will be found very 
satisfactory. Such stock made in quantity and kept in a sufficiently 
cool place may be used for several days before it spoils. Since most 
of the materials used in this stock cannot be put to any other par- 
ticularly good use, and since the labor required in making it is slight, 
this may be regarded as an extremely economical stock. 


Baked Rice Cake

This week my spam folder brought me a recipe that I swear isn’t just a little bland sounding, but it could be the King of Bland, if bland were so interesting to have a king.

In other words, it’s boring.  Baked Rice Cake.  This recipe has four ingredients.  Cold boiled rice, an egg, milk, and flour.  Where’s the taste in that?  I mean, rice does have some taste, but not much.  Unless I’m using my favorite brown jasmine rice.  That stuff is awesome.

Interesting to me, the name jasmine rice comes from the color of the rice.  It’s supposed to be as white as the jasmine flower.  Yet, I get brown jasmine rice, which is just too tasty for words. At least, to me.  Fred claims he can’t tell the difference.  That Fred, he ate my meatloaf made from ground turkey for months before he realized it wasn’t  beef anymore.  From the racket he made, it was like I had taken his favorite dog out back and shot him (I’d never do that!  I love his dogs.  Except when they pee on the carpet.)

Anyway, on to the recipe.  It’s messed up, because the spammers don’t seem to copy very politely.  I suppose the idea of someone cooking these recipes never occurred to them.

a17.???Baked Rice Cake. One pt.
of cold boiled rice, mixed with a cup of cold milk, 1 egg, about ?? a pt. of
flour just sufficient to hold it together. Put into a deep pan and bake ?? an
hour.

As advertised, one boring recipe. It needs some spice, though Fred would probably love it.  I just can’t bring myself to make such a boring recipe.

It came from the spammers favorite 365 Luncheon Dishes, and is an example of why I will never use that cookbook.  That and the Scalloped Tongue.

And with that happy thought of a recipe, toodles!

Saratoga Corn Cake

I love cornbread.  I’d eat it with every meal if I could.  I mean, I LOVE cornbread.  Luckily, Fred shares this love.  I don’t make it with every meal, but I do make it often.  Fresh hot cornbread with fried chicken and greens?  That’s a meal fit for a king.  Or Fred.  This week, my spam folder gave me Saratoga Corn Cake.  Which, while not exactly cornbread, is close enough that I was excited.

Saratoga Corn Cake

  • 2 cups of pastry flour
  • 1 cup granulated yellow corn meal
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 tsp soda
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 cups thick sour cream or milk
  • 3 tbsp melted butter

Sift together the dry ingredients. Then beat together the two eggs, add the milk and melted butter, and stir into the dry mixture. Beat thoroughly and bake in a large shallow pan for 25 minutes.

I had to type this in pretty, the spam folder kind of mixed it up a bit.  But whatever, it worked.

This is what the batter looked like:

Corn Cake Batter

Corn Cake Batter

I used my 9×13 pan to bake it and baked it at 350.  This is what it looked like when I poured it into the pan:

Corn Cake Batter in the Pan

Corn Cake Batter in the Pan

And when I took it out of the oven:

Saratoga Corn Cake

Saratoga Corn Cake

It was tasty, I’ll give it that.  It was a very sweet cornbread, in other words, just as advertised!  A cornbread as a cake.  I might have to make this for Fred’s birthday… if I could just figure out how to frost it.

Until next time, toodles!

Dumplings for Stew

I was never fond of stew and this week, my spam folder brought me a recipe for Dumplings for Stew.  I think my distaste of stew because my mother would make it on occasion and of all the things she could cook, she absolutely could not cook stew.  I don’t know why.  There was something about the name that just made her stew always fail.   It would sit in the pot so long it wasn’t stew, it was mush.  Thank goodness she stopped trying when I was ten and I’ve had a mental block on the idea of stew ever since.

Fred just loves Brunswick Stew, in fact, that’s his favorite recipe.  But I make him make his own.  He makes it for the company potlucks and it’s a big hit.

Anyway, on to the recipe!

Dumplings for Stew

  • Place in a mixing bowl
  • One and one-half cups of flour,
  • and then add
  • One teaspoon of salt,
  • Two teaspoons of baking powder,
  • One-half teaspoon of pepper,
  • One teaspoon of grated onion.

Add two-thirds cup of water and mix to a dough. Drop by the spoonful into the stew and cover closely and boil for twelve minutes. If you open the lid of the saucepan while the dumplings are cooking they will be heavy.

I checked out Wikipedia to find out what a dumpling really is, and it says it’s dough wrapped around a filling.  There doesn’t seem to be much of a filling in this recipe, does there?  That’s just weird.  It is just boiled dough.  Personally,  hush puppies sound much better, but that’s fried dough. Fred should to take me out for fried catfish this week with a double side of hush puppies.

Old Virginia Shortcake

My spam folder was so nice to me tonight. I mean, I read the recipe and went ‘…what?’ but then I made it and it was awesome. Who would have expected something with the name Old Virgian Shortcake to be so good?

The recipe!

Old Virginia Shortcake

  • Sift the flour and then fill a quart measure, using a tablespoon to lift the flour. Care should be taken not to shake or pack the flour down, as the quart of flour should weigh just one pound. Place in a bowl and add
  • Three level tablespoons of baking powder,
  • One teaspoon of salt,
  • Three-quarters cup of sugar.

Sift again to mix and then rub in one-half cup of shortening. Place one and one-half cups of buttermilk in a pitcher and add one teaspoon of baking soda. Stir to thoroughly dissolve the soda and then use this to mix the flour to a dough. Knead well in the bowl with a spoon and then turn on a slightly floured board and roll or pat out one inch thick. Cut with a large biscuit cutter and brush the top with shortening and bake in a hot oven for eighteen minutes.

I don’t own a sifter, so I cheated and let my KitchenAid® do the sifting.  It’s quite useful that way.  I also took advantage of my kitchen scale and weighed the flour rather than measuring it.

1 pound of flour

1 pound of flour

And that’s one pound of flour.

Once I mixed it all together, I dumped it out, rolled it out and cut out the biscuits:

Shortcake waiting to bake

Shortcake waiting to bake

How boring is that?  I mean, it’s just biscuits.  I know the recipe said it was shortcake, but it looks like my buttermilk biscuits.  It even looked like that when it finished baking.

Old Virginia Shortcake

Old Virginia Shortcake

So it looks like biscuits, right? I mean big biscuits, but still, biscuits.

And ohmygod, SO GOOD. To quote Fred ‘272 kinds of awesome!’ (I think he was working with his IT guys at work, I’ve heard them say that before). But it was! So good! And moist and not crumbly and just plain awesome! This recipe definitely goes on my ‘things to make again, and soon’ list. Next time, though, I’ll make them a bit smaller. These huge ones were just a little too much, in a good and bad way.

 

Sweetened Cream Sauce

This week’s recipe from the spam folder is, well, interesting. Interesting in that I have no idea what I’d use it for. Sweetened Cream Sauce. Well, yes, it looks interesting, but what on earth does one use this for? It’s certainly not for savory dishes, I think. I wouldn’t put it on a meat dish, but then, I also wouldn’t put it on ice cream either.

The recipe!

Sweetened Cream Sauce

Place in a saucepan

Two cups of milk,

Four tablespoons of cornstarch.

Dissolve the cornstarch in cold milk and bring to a boil. Cook for five minutes and then add

One-half cup of sugar

One-half teaspoon of nutmeg,

One well-beaten egg.

Beat to mix.

It looks like almost a white sauce, but then you put the sugar, nutmeg and egg in it.  That destroys the whole white sauce aspect.  I found a recipe that mentions using it, apparently it goes with a berry recipe.  That looks awfully tasty, doesn’t it?  I also found a recipe for strawberries and cream.  that uses a sweetened cream sauce.  Their recipe is different from this one though.

I did check with Google, and once again it’s from Mrs Wilson’s Cook Book.  The spam folder sure loves that book.  I suppose it is so old that they don’t have to worry about copyright when copying from it, but considering so much spam has bad things with it, why on earth would they worry about copyright?  On the other hand, it’s right there on the web and they can copy and paste from it with no trouble.  At least this time they didn’t give us a liver recipe or a prune recipe.

Until next time, toodles!

Prune and Nut Jelly

My spam folder has a fixation with liver and prunes, I know this because the latest recipe is prune nut jelly. Seriously, are they putting these recipes in because they know no one will actually look at the text once they realize that there’s these recipes in them? On the other hand, I guess there are folks that like prunes and liver, though I do hope (for some reason) they never put them together in the same recipe.

Anyway, on to the recipe!

PRUNE AND NUT JELLY

Soak three level tablespoons of gelatine in one-half cup of
cold water for one-half hour. Now stone sufficient prunes
to measure one cup. Add

One-half cup of finely chopped nuts,

One-half cup of sugar,

One cup of prune juice,

Juice of one lemon.

Now place the gelatine in a hot-water bath and then strain
into the prune mixture. Stir until thoroughly mixed and then
pour into moulds. Set aside to mould and then serve with
fruit whip.

I went to Google again to find out where this recipe originated. I looked for “prune and nut jelly” then included the first line of the recipe and got lucky! The recipe came from “Modern cooking : numerous new recipes based on present economic conditions” published in 1912. In San Francisco. I wonder if they love prunes out there, I hear some health nuts do. Anyway, the original book is in the library at Cornell University. And this happens to be the same book that this recipe came from. I guess the spammers just used it because the text is available online.

I went back to my spam folder to see what these spammers were selling. And to my great amusement, the subject line was Outback Steakhouse Dinner. Outback Steakhouse sending me prune recipes. If that isn’t something for the spam filter to catch, I don’t know what is. Until next time, toodles!

Curried Fowl

This week the spam folder was not so kind and brought me curried fowl. I suppose that’s better than being given a computer virus, but I seriously have to think about how much better. I made a recipe years ago with curry that turned so bad, I wouldn’t even feed it to the dog. It went straight into the trash can. It was just vile. So horribly vile. Ever since then, I’ve had a bias against curry. I know it isn’t the fault of curry, it was my fault, since I accidentally put in twice as much as the recipe required, but still, I haven’t been able to touch it since. And Fred, with his problem with anything even remotely spicy, he won’t even consider touching it. He’ll still bring p that curry experiment and shudder. I’m sure it’s a fake shudder, but still, it was really really bad.

But anyway, on to the recipe!

.???Curried Fowl. Chop fine pieces of cold fowl,
and brown 2 onions in 2 ozs. butter, add 1 teaspoonful flour, 1 dessertspoonful
 curry powder, 1 tablespoonful lemon juice, ?? pint gravy, season with salt and
pepper. Stew 20 minutes.

Well, first of all, I had no idea a dessertspoonful was an actual measure. That’s a new one. According to Wikipedia, that fountain of all knowledge, it’s equivalent to two teaspoons. I like that measure, I think I’ll use it in the future.

Google did tell me that the same book from this post, that “365 Luncheon Dishes: A Luncheon Dish for Every Day in the Year” that I found on Amazon is the same book that has this recipe. That’s weird, I chose this recipe at random. I wonder if somewhere in my spam folder is all 365 recipes from that book.

Until next time, toodles!

 

Unknown Recipe

So this week’s recipe is an unknown recipe. I have no idea, it’s obviously minced pork and other things, but the spam folder didn’t tell me what the title of the recipe is. It also came with some html encoding. I guess that’s from the spam email. Fred tells me that spammers try to encode their messages so they look longer to the spam filter but don’t to my eyes. I’ll trust Fred on that one because, well, here’s a recipe:

Ingredients :

olive oil
1 onion , chopped
2 garlic cloves , chopped
250g pork mince
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp mild chilli powder
2 tbsp brown sugar
75ml cider vinegar
200ml passata

Directions :

Heat 1 tbsp olive oil in a frying pan. Fry the onions and garlic with seasoning for 5 minutes. Add the pork and cook until browned. Drain off any excess oil. Add the cumin, chilli powder, sugar and vinegar. Simmer for 5 minutes; add the passata. Cook for 10 minutes or until most of the liquid has evaporated.
Serve with toasted tacos, cheese, chopped tomatoes, red onion and crme frache.

Ingredients :

I had to Google to find out what passata is. According to this it’s a tomato puree common in England.

I asked Google about the ingredients in this recipe and found that it’s apparently Pork Tacos. I’ve heard of fish tacos, but never pork. I guess I don’t get out to enough interesting Mexican restaurants, but Fred won’t go. He says they’re too spicy. Then again, that man has informed me that paprika is spicy. I just roll my eyes and go back to using it in my fried chicken recipe.

Until next time, toodles!

Brown Sugar Meringues

Hi there, sugar!

Last week’s recipe was a nice cookie and turned out real good, so for this time around I decided to try a cookie again. The other recipe was prunes, and that was right out. No prunes this week! No prunes ever, if Fred had his way. That man truly hates prunes.

Anyway, unlike the other recipes I’ve posted about, this one wasn’t titled. But with an ingredient list of brown sugar and egg whites, I figured it was a meringue. A brown sugar meringue at that. Isn’t it funny how you can make cookies out of two ingredients? Just brown sugar and egg whites and bake… and there’s your cookies.

My friendly KitchenAid® helped me with the recipe. I just love that thing. Throw everything in it and watch it go! I’m so happy Fred bought me that.

Now on to the recipe:

Ingredients :

4 large egg whites
1 cup packed light brown sugar

Directions :

1. Preheat the oven to 250°F (130°C). Beat the egg whites in a bowl with an 
electric mixer until soft peaks form. Beat in the brown sugar, 2 tbsp at 
a time.

2. Line 2 baking sheets with wax paper. Using a heaping teaspoon for each, 
spoon the meringues, spaced about 1in (2.5cm) apart, on the baking sheet. 
Bake for 1 hour, or until they are crisp on the outside and slightly 
chewy inside.

brownsugar - 1

Since I used my KitchenAid and I have yet to figure out how to take pictures of ingredients in a metal pan without making it look ridiculous, we’ll have to make do with a picture of the final product. Plus, how interesting is a picture of egg whites and brown sugar? It looks just like the cookies… only liquid and a lighter brown.

Considering they aren’t chocolate chip cookies, or even super chocolate chip cookies like last week’s, Fred said they were pretty tasty. He’d rather have a chocolate chip cookie though, but that’s Fred’s opinion about most cookies.  They are awfully light though.

Until next time, toodles!

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