The Joy of Spam Folder Cooking

Month: January 2018

Clam Pie

This week my spam folder brought me something that just sounds wrong.  Clam Pie.  I’m sorry, but those two words just don’t belong together.  Clams are best shucked raw and slurped down or in chowder, I do love a good clam chowder. I just can’t see baking them into a pie.  Pie is apples and chocolate and other really good sweets.  I even love Key Lime Pie.

That may be my problem.  My ears hear pie and my brain thinks ‘yay desert!’ but this recipe just … isn’t right.  It’s all kinds of wrong, to quote my mother.

The recipe!

???Clam Pie
No. 1. (An old New England seashore dish.) Chop the clams if large, saving the
liquor that runs from them. Heat, strain, and sea[Pg 35]son this and cook the
chopped clams for 10 minutes in it. Have a thick top crust of good pastry, but
none at the bottom of the bake dish. Fill with alternate layers of the minced
clams, season with salt, pepper, a few drops of onion juice, some bits of butter
and a few teaspoonfuls of strained tomato sauce, and thin slices of boiled
potatoes. Dredge each layer of clams with flour. Lastly, pour in a cupful of
clam juice, put on the crust and bake half an hour in a quick oven.

So it’s clear that my spammers were rude to me and copying and pasting from something again.  They did a really poor job of it too, look at those things they left in. The page number?  That doesn’t help.

I did check with Mr. Google and found that the recipe is from their favorite 365 Luncheon Dishes.  They really do love this cookbook.  I’m not sure I do, with recipes like this one,  Lobster Creams, German Prune Cake and Curried Fowl there isn’t much to recommend it.

Until next time, toodles!

Molasses Cakes

My spam folder brought me a new recipe, Molasses Cakes.  I’d never heard of these before, but I decided to give them a shot.  They didn’t look that hard, so I went for it.

Molasses Cakes

  • Place in a mixing bowl
  • One-half cup of syrup,
  • One-half cup of brown sugar,
  • Six tablespoons of shortening,
  • One egg.
  • Cream well and then add One cup of seeded raisins,
  • Two and one-half cups of flour,
  • One-half teaspoon of baking soda dissolved in
  • One-quarter cup of cold water or milk,
  • One-quarter teaspoonful mace,
  • One-quarter teaspoonful cloves,
  • One-half teaspoonful ginger.

Work to a smooth dough and then roll on a slightly floured board and cut.

Brush the tops of the cakes with syrup and sprinkle with finely chopped nuts.

Bake for eight minutes in a moderate oven. This makes about three dozen cakes.

I used molasses as the syrup (why they didn’t say molasses is beyond me) and milk.  The  dough looked like this:

 

Molasses Cakes Dough

Molasses Cakes Dough

It looks like dark biscuit dough to me with extra dots. (Those would be the raisins)  Anyway, I used my hand biscuit cutter and cut things out.  Either I made them too thick or my biscuit cutter is too big, because I didn’t get 36 cakes.  I got these:

Molasses Cakes

Molasses Cakes

I brushed molasses on each cake and sprinkled walnuts on top.  Walnuts were used after carefully deciding that that’s all I had in the house.  After they baked, they looked like this:

Baked Molasses Cakes

Baked Molasses Cakes

Then it was Fred’s turn.  It wasn’t supposed to be, I was going to take them to work, but he found them warm on the counter and had to taste test for himself.  He said ‘They looked sweet, I thought I was going to get a nice sweet biscuit… but they weren’t. Awfully tasty though!’.  Then he helped himself to another.  That Fred, gotta love him!

Until next time, toodles!

Lobster Creams. Whip.

My spam folder brought me something… well I have to call it weird.  Lobster creams.   And the title of the recipe has ‘whip’ at the end.

Now, I don’t know about you, but when I hear ‘creams’ I think candy.  My favorites are the Orange Creams from See’s.  I just adore those things.  That and the chocolate creams.  And the strawberry creams, and maybe some truffles.  Okay, I admit it, I have a See’s problem.  There aren’t any support groups (yet) and I’m lucky enough that there isn’t one in town.  Fred does get me a box every Valentine’s day and for my birthday, which is just too sweet for words.

I don’t share with him though.

Anyway, back to the recipe.  I just have a problem with lobster cream.  I’ve heard of people making salmon ice cream, which should be outlawed.  Not just in the US but everywhere!

Well maybe I am overreacting a bit, different people have different tastes.  I told my mother about a chocolate cake recipe I had that included things like spinach, avocado, beets and carrots and she informed me that ‘that recipe will NOT be made’.

Anyway, on to the recipe.  I’m not including this as a ‘real’ recipe, because there’s some whacky formatting issues with it.

???Lobster Creams. Whip
 ?? a pint of cream stiff, season it highly with cayenne and salt. Cut up ?? a
boiled lobster and mix with the cream. Put into cases. Garnish with parsley and
some of the lobster coral.[Pg 36]

It looks like that recipe came from a book again.  That book is (once again) 365 Luncheon Dishes .  I guess they just love that book because it’s free at Project Gutenberg.  Taking a moment, I scanned through it and found a recipe for ‘Scalloped Tongue’.    I think the book went on my list of ‘recipe books not to use’.

Until next time, toodles!

Baked Rice Cake

This week my spam folder brought me a recipe that I swear isn’t just a little bland sounding, but it could be the King of Bland, if bland were so interesting to have a king.

In other words, it’s boring.  Baked Rice Cake.  This recipe has four ingredients.  Cold boiled rice, an egg, milk, and flour.  Where’s the taste in that?  I mean, rice does have some taste, but not much.  Unless I’m using my favorite brown jasmine rice.  That stuff is awesome.

Interesting to me, the name jasmine rice comes from the color of the rice.  It’s supposed to be as white as the jasmine flower.  Yet, I get brown jasmine rice, which is just too tasty for words. At least, to me.  Fred claims he can’t tell the difference.  That Fred, he ate my meatloaf made from ground turkey for months before he realized it wasn’t  beef anymore.  From the racket he made, it was like I had taken his favorite dog out back and shot him (I’d never do that!  I love his dogs.  Except when they pee on the carpet.)

Anyway, on to the recipe.  It’s messed up, because the spammers don’t seem to copy very politely.  I suppose the idea of someone cooking these recipes never occurred to them.

a17.???Baked Rice Cake. One pt.
of cold boiled rice, mixed with a cup of cold milk, 1 egg, about ?? a pt. of
flour just sufficient to hold it together. Put into a deep pan and bake ?? an
hour.

As advertised, one boring recipe. It needs some spice, though Fred would probably love it.  I just can’t bring myself to make such a boring recipe.

It came from the spammers favorite 365 Luncheon Dishes, and is an example of why I will never use that cookbook.  That and the Scalloped Tongue.

And with that happy thought of a recipe, toodles!

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