The Joy of Spam Folder Cooking

Month: August 2017

Washington Apple Cake

This week my spam folder brought me Washington Apple Cake.  I felt that while this isn’t chocolate, it’s a pretty good alternative, considering how delicious it turned out to be.

Washington Apple Cake

  • 3 eggs
  • 2 cups white sugar
  • 1 cup vegetable oil
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 cup chopped walnuts
  • 4 cups thinly sliced apples
  • Topping:
  • 2 (4 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
  • 1/4 cup butter, melted
  • 2 cups confectioners' sugar
  • 1 teaspoon lemon juice

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter a 9x13 inch pan. Spread apples evenly over the bottom of the pan.

Beat eggs with mixer until thick and light. Combine sugar and oil and add to eggs. Stir together flour, cinnamon, soda and salt. Add to egg mixture and beat in. stir in nuts and vanilla. Batter will be very thick. Spread batter over apples in the pan. Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 1 hour, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Remove from the oven and cool. Spread with Cream Cheese Icing.

Topping: To make Cream Cheese Icing: Beat cream cheese until fluffy. Beat in 1/4 cup melted butter, then beat in confectioners sugar and lemon juice. Spread over cooled cake. Refrigerate.

I was going to take pictures of the process, but I got so involved with it I forgot!  I used Gala apples for the recipe and did I mention the whole thing was delicious?

This is what it looked like when it came out of the oven:

Naked Apple Cake

Naked Apple Cake

I call it naked because as you can see, no icing!

The icing was interesting because I’ve never used lemon juice in cream cheese frosting before.  Fred wanted me to skip it because one of his favorite things o this earth is cream cheese frosting (he’d be happy if I gave him a bowl of it and a pile of cookies) but I said, no, I’m following the recipe.

Cream Cheese Frosting

Cream Cheese Frosting

And I am so glad I did.  The slight sourness of the icing and the sweetness of the apples combined into one awesome glorious cake.

Washington Apple Cake

Washington Apple Cake

It was even better for breakfast!

Until next time, toodles!

Orange Dressing

This week the spam folder brought me yet another strange recipe.  (Sometimes I think that that sentence should start almost all of these posts.)  Strange recipes from the spam folder!  Anyway, this week the spam folder brought me a recipe for Orange Dressing.

My mother used to make cornbread dressing every Thanksgiving, but I don’t think that’s what this recipe is.  I also have no idea what I’d use this recipe for, I mean I’d never put Orange Dressing on a salad, unless that salad was just a fruit salad, and even then, why would I add this dressing?

The recipe!

Orange Dressing

  • Juice of two oranges,
  • Grated rind of one-half of an orange,
  • One-half cup of cold water,
  • One-half cup of sugar,
  • Two tablespoons of cornstarch.

Dissolve the sugar and the starch in water and add the fruit juice and the grated rind. Bring to a boil and cook for five minutes, and then remove from the fire and drop in yolk of one egg. Beat well to mix. Now beat the white very stiff, and then beat into the mixture and then chill and serve.

That looks kind of like a variant on an orange meringue.  Why I’d use that on a salad, okay, so I wouldn’t.  In other words, in my admittedly not very broad experience, I have no idea what this would be used for.

Once again, it seems the spam authors pulled this from Mrs Wilson’s Cookbook! Still their favorite cookbook.  I went looking through the book and I found reference to using this recipe on an Orange Salad.  Now, I like oranges.  I don’t love them as much as I love peaches, but they’re okay.  I do have a limit on how much orange I’ll eat before it gets to be too much and Orange Salad and Orange Dressing would probably be too much orange.

Until next time, toodles!

Cold Duck and Chestnut Border

This week the spam folder didn’t bring me chocolate (which I really REALLY wanted this week) instead, we got Cold Duck and Chestnut Border.   Now our local grocery store is kind of small, and we have chicken, fish, beef and pork.  No duck.  Fred did offer to go hunting and get me one, but I pointed out that it isn’t hunting season yet and on top of that, who was going to prepare the duck?  I certainly wasn’t going to do that and last time I checked, Fred didn’t do it either.  He also hadn’t been hunting in about fifteen years.

In other words, duck was right out.

The recipe!

Cold Duck and Chestnut Border

  • Arrange slices of cold duck on a platter.
  • Shell and blanch 1 qt. of chestnuts, then boil until soft, drain and put them
  • through a colander. Add a tablespoonful of butter, salt and pepper to taste,
  • arrange around the cold duck. Garnish with olives or bits of red currant jelly.

So that’s kind of a boring recipe, but I guess the title didn’t oversell it.  It’s cold duck and chestnuts around the border.  It’s also from one of the spammers favorite cookbooks, 365 Luncheon Dishes.  They do love that cookbook.  I just wish that this week it had been something chocolate.  Did I mention how much I want chocolate this week?  I’m not sure I did.

I went back to my spam folder and found the message that had this recipe.  It had the interesting subject of ‘New Fat-Burner– Takes–GNC- by–Storm–‘.  I found that funny because I always thought that duck was a fatty meat.  According to the NPR it is.  So according to that spam message I should both eat the meat and burn fat.  I’m pretty sure that they’re doing what Fred said they do, fill the message with junk so it hopefully gets past the spam filter.  Well, my spam filter caught this recipe, so it didn’t work for them this time.

Maybe if I had a spam filter that wasn’t as smart, it might work.  On the other hand, they might give me chocolate recipes that way.  Hear that spammers?  Next time throw a chocolate recipe my way!

Until next time, toodles!

Jalapeño Cheddar Scones

This week the spam folder brought me an interesting one.  Jalapeño Cheddar Scones.  I knew without asking Fred would refuse to have anything to do with them.  He loves cheddar cheese but say ‘jalapeño’ to the man and he goes the opposite direction.  I got lucky though, it was time for the annual chili cook off at work.  I usually bring corn bread (have I mentioned how much I love corn bread?) but this time I decided to bring something different.

Jalapeño Cheddar Scones

  • 1/2 cup butter
  • 21/2 cups whole-wheat our
  • 1 tbsp baking powder
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 4 oz sharp cheddar, diced
  • 1 jalapeno, finely diced
  • 2 eggs, lightly beaten
  • 1/2 cup milk
  • egg wash
  • 1 egg
  • salt and pepper

Place the butter in the freezer for 30 minutes.

Turn the oven to 400 F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper, or lightly grease the pan if you dont have the paper.

In a large bowl, combine the our, baking powder, and salt.

Prepare your jalapeo and cheese. Cutting the cheese into cubes rather than grating it means youll have pockets of gooey cheese that contrast nicely with the scone. If you want the spice of the jalapeo, leave the seeds and membrane; if you like it milder, remove them and chop up only the pepper itself.

Remove the butter from the freezer and grate it directly into the our mixture. (Use a cheese graterits the best way to break up butter without melting it.) Using your hands, gently squish the butter into the our until everything is incorporated but not smooth. The chunks of butter will create aky scones. Add the jalapeo, cheese, eggs, and milk to the bowl, then use your hands to gently mix everything until it just comes together. It will probably be a little shaggy, but thats just ne.

Sprinkle our on a clean countertop and dump the dough onto it. Gently shape the dough into a disc about 11/2 thick. Cut the dough into six triangles, like a pizza, and move them to the cookie sheet.

In a small bowl, gently beat the egg for the egg wash. Brush it over the scones, then sprinkle salt and pepper over each one. Bake for 25 minutes or until the scones are golden brown

I copied the recipe directly from the spam, which means it really doesn’t look pretty.  It worked, though it was really messy.  I doubled the recipe so I’d have enough scones for the office and that was just fine.

Scones before baking

Jalapeño Cheddar Scones before baking

That’s what they looked like before I baked them.  That doesn’t look messy at all, does it.  But before that, boy that was a mess.  Bits of dough sticking to everything and anything.

After I baked them, this is what they looked like:

Jalapeño Cheddar Scones

Jalapeño Cheddar Scones

That’s a bit messier, isn’t it?  The cheese melted during the baking.

I have to say, one of the scones disappeared before the made it to the office and I’m pretty sure the culprit was Fred.  He wouldn’t say he liked it, but there wasn’t a crumb to be found, so I’m guessing he did, or he found a really good place to hide the remnants!

The guys at work thought they were awesome and asked me to make them again next year.  I told them we’d see, it depends on if the spam folder brings me a really good corn bread recipe again.

Until next time, toodles!

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