The Joy of Spam Folder Cooking

Month: June 2017

Minced Collops

I have learned so much about food writing this blog, all these new recipes and ingredients have been educational.  Which brings us to this week’s recipe.  Minced Collops.  This is definitely a new one on me.

Minced Collops

  • Mince very fine 1 lb. of beef
  • 1 onion
  • 2 ozs. suet
  • a little flour
  • pepper
  • salt.

Stew half an hour, stirring frequently

I was planning on making this recipe, but you know, sometimes life gets in the way.  I just couldn’t find the time.  Fred and I ate out 4 nights in a row!  That’s a new record for us, but when you get busy, you get busy.  The fifth night I was so tired I just didn’t want to bother with the kitchen so I pulled out a frozen dinner for two.

Anyway, I had to know where this recipe came from.  Wikipedia told me that a collop is a slice of meat.  Considering this is minced collops, I guess it’s the silce of meat that you  mince.  A collop is also a measurement.  It’s the amount of land you need for one cow to graze.  Isn’t that something?  I have to wonder if the two are related.  You use a collop to raze a cow then a collop of cow is used for dinner.

Saratoga Corn Cake

I love cornbread.  I’d eat it with every meal if I could.  I mean, I LOVE cornbread.  Luckily, Fred shares this love.  I don’t make it with every meal, but I do make it often.  Fresh hot cornbread with fried chicken and greens?  That’s a meal fit for a king.  Or Fred.  This week, my spam folder gave me Saratoga Corn Cake.  Which, while not exactly cornbread, is close enough that I was excited.

Saratoga Corn Cake

  • 2 cups of pastry flour
  • 1 cup granulated yellow corn meal
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 tsp soda
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 cups thick sour cream or milk
  • 3 tbsp melted butter

Sift together the dry ingredients. Then beat together the two eggs, add the milk and melted butter, and stir into the dry mixture. Beat thoroughly and bake in a large shallow pan for 25 minutes.

I had to type this in pretty, the spam folder kind of mixed it up a bit.  But whatever, it worked.

This is what the batter looked like:

Corn Cake Batter

Corn Cake Batter

I used my 9×13 pan to bake it and baked it at 350.  This is what it looked like when I poured it into the pan:

Corn Cake Batter in the Pan

Corn Cake Batter in the Pan

And when I took it out of the oven:

Saratoga Corn Cake

Saratoga Corn Cake

It was tasty, I’ll give it that.  It was a very sweet cornbread, in other words, just as advertised!  A cornbread as a cake.  I might have to make this for Fred’s birthday… if I could just figure out how to frost it.

Until next time, toodles!

Zephyr Eggs

This week, my spam folder brought me a weird recipe… well, weird for it.  It’s called Zephyr Eggs.  I knew Fred would never try them (look, there’s chillies in them!) and I also knew that my cooking was not nearly good enough to make something like this.

Zephyr Eggs

  • Four eggs
  • Pint of cream
  • salt and pepper
  • Rich brown gravy
  • Olives
  • Red chillies

Beat four eggs very light, add to them a pint of cream, season with salt and pepper. Butter small

moulds and pour in the mixture, stand the moulds in a pan with about 2 inches of water, steam 20

minutes. Turn them out and pour a rich brown gravy around them. Garnish with chopped olives and

red chillies.

I’m sure a good cook would know what kind of moulds the recipe requires.  I just know that I don’t.  Also, how do I steam them?  Do I put the pan with the water on the stove and heat it up?  Wouldn’t that boil them?

In other words, I’m not making this recipe.  I’m just too confused by the whole thing.

The spammers, on the other hand, apparently just love this recipe.  I found it in 12 different messages.  With subjects like ‘Urgent: Banned NEWS STORY’ and ‘ Looking to hookup? Im ready to hook up now’.  How’s that for two completely different kinds of messages?  Fred says that the spammers are just trying to get anyone to open the messages in their mail so that they can infect the machines.  I had to promise him (AGAIN) that I wouldn’t do that.

I did check the source of this recipe, and it’s once again in the Book of 365 Luncheon Dishes.  I guess because that recipe is on the Gutenberg website they just copy and paste from there.  I wonder if they use any other books from there… and how would I figure that out?

Until next time, toodles!

Lemon Dumplings

I said in this post I didn’t see the point of Lemon Sauce?  Well, this week the spam folder has proven me wrong.  It brought me a recipe for Lemon Dumplings that have Lemon Sauce.

I also said in that post that I wasn’t a fan of lemon, that it took over the entire recipe for me.  Even if I did cut back how much I used.  So, I’m not going to be making this recipe.

Lemon Dumplings

  • Place in a bowl:
  • One tablespoon of baking powder,
  • One cup of flour,
  • One and one-half cups of fine bread crumbs,
  • One cup of chopped suet,
  • One cup of brown sugar,
  • Juice of one lemon,
  • Two eggs,
  • Grated rind of one-half lemon,
  • One and one-half cups of milk.

Beat to thoroughly mix and then pour into well-greased mould and boil for one and one-quarter hours. Serve with lemon sauce.

That is not an appealing recipe, in my opinion.  Or in my humble opinion, as Fred likes to say.  I’m pretty sure he’s being ironic because Fred is rarely humble.  Often falsely humble, like when people compliment his Brunswick stew, but never truly humble.  He’s just too awesome, to quote him.

I went back to my spam folder to find out who sent me a recipe for Lemon Dumplings.  The subject of the spam was Military Technology Now Available To The Public.  Now that might get Fred, if they showed him pictures of cool things rather than recipes for Lemon Dumplings.  That man, he has more toys than he knows what to do with.  But because he’s ‘just too awesome’, he goes out and buys more.

Until next week, toodles!

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