The Joy of Spam Folder Cooking

Month: June 2016

English Scones

So for my first real post about recipes I found in my spam folder, I looked for something I could actually make. Now this isn’t a cooking blog. There’s a lot of those, and some of them are very good. This is just a blog about the recipes I’ve found in my spam folder. Strangely, none of them actually involve spam. Lots of other things though.

Anyway, I looked through the pile of recipes and found something I thought I could not only make, but eat. The recipe was titled DELICIOUS ENGLISH SCONES, and I do love a good scone. My favorites are brown scones, but I thought I’d give this one a try.

So, on to the recipe!

Place in a mixing bowl

Four cups of sifted flour,

Two tablespoons of baking powder,

Two level tablespoons of sugar,

One-half teaspoon of salt.

So I did that. And I had a pile of white powders in a nice shiny mixing bowl. I tried to take a picture of that, but it didn’t turn out well. I guess next time I’ll use a glass bowl and not a metal one. Hopefully I’ll get better pictures that way.

 

Rub between the hands to thoroughly mix and then rub into the flour five level tablespoonfuls of shortening.

I went with butter for the shortening.  I suppose I could have used lard, but no lard on hand.

Now beat up [pg 46] an egg and then add one-half of the beaten egg to one and one-fourth cups of milk. Beat to mix.

I assume from the [pg 46] left in the middle of that text that they were copying it from a cookbook and just went whole hog with it. Apparently spam senders like to pad their messages with lots of text to get past spam filters. The good thing for me, there are got recipes in it.

 Use this to make a soft dough. Turn on a lightly floured baking board and knead for three minutes.

scones - 2
I took a picture of the dough. I guess I wanted to prove that yes, this recipe did make something… even if it isn’t done yet.

 

Now divide into five pieces and mould each piece round like a saucer, and cut each way, making four wedge-shaped pieces; place on a well-greased baking sheet and brush with the remaining half of the egg, and bake in a hot oven for fifteen minutes.

The recipe says ‘bake in a hot oven’. Aren’t ovens all hot when you turn them on? I did ask google and found out that ‘hot oven’ actually means a temperature range of 400-450. Since I’m not sure, and apparently they aren’t either, I split the difference and went with 425.

And here’s a picture of the result… They aren’t pretty, but they’re certainly tasty!

scones - 3

 

Until next time… toodles!

Hey There Sugar!

Like many of you, I receive an awful mess of email I just do not want. Fred, my husband, tells me it’s called spam. I guess it has to do with an old Monty Python bit, but spam it is. I hate spam. I also don’t like the kind that comes in the can, but that’s neither here nor there. The point is, spam is not good. Fred tells me that bad guys use spam to steal and to infect machines with viruses. Knowing that, I’ll go one step beyond ‘not good’ and to the ‘more worthless than tits on a bull’.

So following Fred’s advice (he really does know his technology!) I learned about spam folders. Where spam goes to rot into nothingness and be forgotten. I just liked imagining it decaying day after day until all that is left is a word or a number, until that disappears too. Fred told me I just had it all wrong, that it just stayed there until I got around to deleting it, or something. I prefer my view of it though.

Anyway, one night when I was very very bored and not sleepy at all, and Facebook had nothing new for me, I decided to look at that spam. Since it was just sitting there in that folder doing nothing, why not?

Fred did tell me ‘do NOT click on anything!’ and I listened carefully. He also told me if my computer started acting weird at all, I was to come find him. That I didn’t listen too carefully to. My computer is awfully old and acts weird all the time. I really should buy a new one, but as Fred says, if all I do is surf Facebook and read email, how nice of a computer do I really need?

So all that being said, I looked at the spam. And boy did I find some weird stuff. Lots of links (yes Fred, I didn’t click on any). Lots of random text and… strangely enough… recipes. Lots and lots of recipes. My word, just all kinds of recipes.

So Fred suggested I start this blog. He said it’s about time I did something more with my computer than just Facebook and email. So every week I’ll post a new recipe. Some of which I’ll make, some I won’t. (No Fred, I am NOT making liver dumplings! Nothing with liver!) And yes, Fred, I will use my brand new camera to take pictures. My word, the way that man carries on about that camera, you’d think it was dipped in gold.

Anyway, until next week, toodles!

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